It's Not OK

I get it. you see before you such an adorable child. The adorableness is just radiating from this child. And the charm, oh the charm of this little child! It makes it so easy to fall into this cuteness trap. Especially when the child knows how to use that charm to get just what they want. I get it. I am there every day. I see the cuteness. I experience the charm. I know why you say it’s ok. But it’s not. It’s not ok.

I know you think you are just being nice. Even possibly trying to make things easier for me in your mind. You see a woman with a little child, possibly thinking the woman is beyond frustrated. Tired of having to speak to their child. This woman, in your mind, could possibly be embarrassed of the child’s behavior. So, when it may seem to you that I may be fussing at the child, or even possibly being too strict, you say “it’s ok.” But it’s not. It’s not ok.

It’s not ok when you interrupt my parenting to tell this sweet child that it’s ok that he got too close to you in the grocery checkout line.

It’s not ok when I ask him not to talk to strangers, and you say with a smile “it’s ok. He was just saying hi”

It’s not ok when a child is swinging and flapping their arms, turning in circles in the middle of a walk way and I tell them to be aware of their surroundings and choose a less crowded area to do that and you look at him, smiling, and say “it’s ok he’s not in the way”

It’s not ok when you say he doesn’t need to apologize to you when he was rude to you. You say, with a smile, “he’s just a cute little kid.” It’s not ok. He needs to apologize. He hears your words and it’s not ok.

It’s. Not. OK.

I know. I am the mean mom for saying it’s not ok. I’m good with that. I will be the mean mom on these occasions. You may say “he will learn overtime” and yes, yes this child will learn. But how? If I don’t intervene now, how do you think the child will learn? That’s my job to help this precious child learn. To learn social boundaries. To be respectful of others. All during this most adorable cutest stage of life. I can’t let the cuteness get to me when it comes to these things

The thing is, one day this cute little child you see before you will grow up to be an adult. A six foot tall, 200 pound adult. The cuteness will be gone (well, most of it anyway). The charm and grin will no longer have the same effect over you. Will it be ok then? Will you say “it’s ok” when this 6 foot tall adult gets in your personal space in the check out line, walks up to you to tell you about their day, doesn’t apologize when they are rude to you. Is it, in the long run, really ok?